oh

Could it be my fault.

It hit me, like a door slamming in my face last night. Sudden and hard.

I lied for her.
I let her cheat.
Was it a cry for help? Did she want me to tell the nurses she was cheating?? She begged me not to. Was her actual confidence in me a sign to tell? Was she crying out for help

It really just hit me and now it wont leave my mind and i cant think about it without my eyes watering up. And Melissa i dont cry for anyone you know that. I dont and you keep making me.

But then you never told on me... but i never confessed, not even to you. it hurt lying to you. Especially wen it was plain on your face that you knew... i was a big FAT lier and i you knew it and i knew it.
But you, you told me. I wanted to tell a nurse. I wanted to. But your tiny body and your tears were too much for me. i just turned my head, averted my eyes. Pretended. like we were good at. the best at. The best little girls

It just hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.

Melissa Is it my fault????????????????????????????????
i feel wrong to be here without you

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?
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I have deleted personal posts and saved them elsewhere in order to put my blog back up.

hey Peeps

Hey peeps,

Had a Mkay day... i turned in my paper.. -yes i did do a victory lap of the library-

i learnt for my exam. i LOST my friend but... mmm we were meant to study together but after constantly msging her she still is yet to reply??bit strange

Normally i dont have to utter a word until about 3 or 4pm everyday. I am just noticing that it is too much energy to talk so if i don't go to breaky then i usually dont have to speak until late afternoon. I am just mute in class! lol. Suits me just fine.

Rosies court case has been adjourned so the stress is being prolonged. Damn.

I have my exam tomorrow s0 wish me luck! Then i can RELAX a little. My shoulders have their own heartbeats at the moment they are sooo sore.

Oh something else... i broke Traceys scales the other day... the most funniest horrible thing! Imagine.. the big stressful moment, i step on and... its lights turn out. It shuts off! I broke the scales Tracey laughed. Another man was in the room and he tried not to laugh but i know he was.


Anyway enough

shelle

GREAT

I had a GREAT weekend the one just passed!

I went to the KORN concert with my HE (Adam)!!!!! And we were at the front, the VDERY front row! and i got their DRUM STICK! YEP!

we went to the beach, Glenelg. We had eggs. His poached (yeah?? the guy who eats tripple cheesy cheese crusts and he wont eat fried fricking eggs. lol!) and i had scrambled!.....go me!!!! yummy.


we went to Ikea. He had a hotgog. Just coz it was $1. Wasnt even hungry but how can you pass up that bargain.

We went into the city and tried on tight leather black pants -mmm he wants$15 ones so needless to say we bolted when he spotted the $315 price tag.

WE went to shags but he was grumpy. But em was fun. Why is everyone SO fun when they are drunk? now he has gone....
awww - but atleast i can study without he's incessent 'eat mama'.

mwa

not good enough

up to 6 or 7 :(

oh man

I want to write about Melissa and her visits to me. But i am ashamed at how angry i am at her.

I'm angry she left me. She left me here :(

We coulda made it together


If she didn't take up every spare place in my brain then maybe i could start actually getting stuff done.

We could have made it together

We could have made it together

Daily planner

Daily happenings for me are about the same right now:

Get up
Gym
Breaky
Study/ uni
Dinner
Study
and usually gym again
Internet
Read
Bed

(oh and clean of course)

The end